NOTICE:

BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST...BE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS ABOUT MY SINGLENESS AND THINGS OF THAT NATURE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO COMPLAIN TO YOURSELF ABOUT GIRLS WHO WRITE ABOUT THIS STUFF, GO AWAY NOW...SERIOUSLY. FOR EVERYONE ELSE, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

This post is not about my bitterness. It's not about how I so despratly wish to have a boyfriend. It's not about how I think I need a man of God in my life to "complete me". The reason for this post is purely to inform you of some things I have been going through. Some thoughts on my life thus far. And lastly to vent about a huge pet peeve of mine.

Let me be really honest with all of you, I have never been on a date and I have never had any sort of romantic relationship with any person on this planet. In high school, it took a toll on my self-esteem. If you have been a girl in high-school, you know it's not hard for something to make you feel like crap. I have always wondered why. Why hasn't anyone every asked me out? Why hasn't any one ever been intrested? What is wrong with me that I repell the oppsite sex? As my relationship with Christ has grown, I am more confident in myself and know that nothing is wrong with me. But the problem with self-esteem never goes away. It seems everyone is either dating, engaged, "talking", or married. I'll be honest, it's very overwhelming. I am a pretty patient person, but waiting for someone I don't know is very frustrating. I know writing about it won't change anything, but I know I am not the only one out there that feels this way. I just hope that somehow this is encouraging to one girl out there. Just becasue you haven't found "the one" yet or just because you feel like you aren't worth anything, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE UGLY, UNLIKABLE, OR WORTHLESS! I have been there, done that, and got those many many t-shirts. Do not let yourself think that. Do not let anyone but Christ determine how you feel about yourself. You are worthy, beautiful, and special. I am so blessed with the life I have had. I am thankful and I will have to learn to be patient.

I want to be clear with you, I am prepared to wait. Yes, I am excited to find "the one" and share my life with someone else, but I am not in any kind of hurry. Yes, it would be nice for someone to think of me more than a friend (story of my life), but I am going to be wait for the one who exceeds my standards. I am a Proverbs 31 woman, and I will settle for nothing less than God's best for me.

But now for my pet peeve. I hate it when people ask me why I am single. If I knew the answer to that...I probably wouldn't be single. I don't like it when those same people tell me they can't think of why I don't have a boyfriend yet...thank you, but please stop reminding me. I am single, I am proud, I am not lonely, and I do not need a man to make me happy. I will welcome it with open arms when it happens, but until then, don't question my happiness because I don't have boyfriend.

If you are still reading, you are brave. Thanks for letting me vent a little. I hope you are blessed in everything you do! I hope you let God work in every way possible! I hope you are encouraged each day by something new! Be paitient, and let God do what He wants in your life...He will do it anyway and without your promission. Always remember you are worthy, beautiful, and you deserve the best. Never settle for anything less than God's best! Be blessed and be a blessing!

2012

I usually don't make resolutions but this year I have 3 simple ones.

1. Read the entire Bible (I've already started cause I'm a slow reader)


2. Dress up more (just because)


3. No gossip (it's a problem, I stuggle, I need to change)

These may not seem like big deals, but in my life they are just small steps for me to become a better person. If you don't like something about yourself, don't complain, do something to change it.

About the Author

You read my thoughts, feelings, and opinions but what do you know about me? Probably very little...so here are some things you might not care about but I am going to tell you anyway.

Favorite Colors: Yellow, Blue, Orange
Favorite Holidays: Christams, Easter, then 4th of July
Favorite Singers: Micheal Buble, Colbie Callet, Country
Favorite Flower: Gerber Daisy
Favorite Animal: Platypus, Elephant, Giraffe
Favorite Sport: Soccer
Favorite Candy: Twix

I love to travel. I love to help people. I love to hang out, but I love to have my alone time. I love God with all my heart. I love the life He has given me. I know you probably don't care, and are not reading on but in order to get to know someone, you have to start with the basics. Welcome to my life, like it or not, its Gods and I couldn't ask for more.

Journal

I think everyone should keep a journal. I have one. If you have ever seen A Walk to Remember you will know the kind of journal I am talking about. My journal carries my thoughts, feelings, favorite things, goals, my bucket list, and so much more. Mine is random and might not make sense to most, but lets get real...that's how it is in my everyday life. Most people call me random and I usually don't make sense to anyone. Your journal should represent who you are. A journal lets you vent, and put on paper your dreams and thoughts. If you have a vivid imagination like I do, a journal would be great for you. It clears your mind and prevents many mean thoughts from being said.

I know this isn't deep or meaningfull or anything, but just think about it. Get a journal.

Letters to God

Dear Daddy,
You created me, made me from dust. You gave me life. You watch over me in heaven and live my everyday life with me. You save my life everyday. You are my comfort. You are my best friend. You slap me in the face when I need it. You always have my back. You never let me down. You wrote the best book in the whole world. You dance with me. You cry over me. You rejoice with me. You call my name. You laugh at my jokes. You give me hope.

I do not deserve you.
I am not worthy.
I am just dust.

But you see the beauty in dirt. You think I am worth dying for. You let me love you.

I do not know why and I never will, but thank you. Thank you Jesus. Thank you.

Happy Birthday Jesus.

Oh Darling

This is one of my favorite songs, Oh Darling by Plug in Stereo

I want this. I know I always say, wait for the one God has for you and don't worry God has it, but it doesn't take away the desire I have in my heart for someone to think I'm special, beautiful, and wanted.

You seem quite nice for a girl with good looks
And I'm the kinda fellow that'll make you feel better when your life gets shook
So give it a chance according to your plans
I bet I'm not number one on your list to kiss, but please understand

You seem quite shy, but you're oh so cute
And I'm the kind of girl that would love to be yours if you asked me to
So just take a chance, try to hold my hand
I swear I'd never let go
Just let me know if you'd be my man

I really want to come out and tell you
Oh darling, I love you so
If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

You seem quite right for a boy like me
And I wanna know would you treat me well
Would you treat me like a queen
Cause I'd like to show you and make you see
That although we're different type
We were meant to be

I really want to come out and tell you
Oh darling, I love you so
If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

So I gotta ask you,
I can't be afraid
I gotta take a chance at love
So what do you say

I really want to come out and tell you
Oh darling, I love you so
If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

Oh darling, I love you so
If you'd ask me for my heart, there's no way that I'll say no
Oh darling, just take a chance please
So we can stay together till hell starts freeze

Proverbs 31 Continued

The Proverbs 31 woman movement continues, and has grown stronger today. The slogan: "I would rather be a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria's Secret model". This is a great statement, but do you really know what this means? For all of you who are making this your slogan, think about what you are committing to. Words without action become void.

For the women:

• Actually read Proverbs 31. Understand what it means. Do not join a movement without knowing what you are representing.
• Challenge yourself and change the way you live. Start being the woman of God He has called you to be.
• Never listen to the lies Satan tell you. You are worthy, beautiful, and deserving of the best.
  
• Do not worry about the future. God has it in his hands. He knows your future better than you do.
• We need to be pursued and not chase after men. Stop throwing yourself at men who's only intention is to flirt and use you. Stop trying so hard to grab the attention of men when the only attention you need is from your father in heaven.
• Learn the difference between attention and affection.
  

For the men:

• Actually read Proverbs 31. Understand what it means. Do not join a movement without knowing what you are representing.
  
• Challenge yourself and change the way you live. Start being gentlemen. Start being the man of God He has called you to be.
  
• Treat women with respect they deserve. Stop flirting without the intention of pursuit. Stop leading women on then breaking their hearts. Be the type of man your parents would be proud of.
  

I agree with this movement. I applaud the people who want to change. Do it for the right reasons, and put action behind your words.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Mahatma Gandhi
"A woman's heart should be so lost in the Lord, a man has to be just as lost to find it"
"Place your heart in the hands of God, and he will place it in the hands of a man who he believes deserves it"

Everyone, men and women alike, step up and change.

Proverbs 31

I've been posting blogs for a couple of months now, but still haven't explained the name of the blog.

The Wife of Noble Character

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

This is Proverbs 31. The perfect description of a Woman of God. If this is the first time reading this, read it again. For you women out there, try to become the woman God has created you to be. For you men out these, do not settle for a woman who is less than this. God wants our best, and what a better way to find what He wants from us than from the one book He inspired!

The reason I named my blog Proverbs 31 is because it is such an inspiring passage in the Bible. As a woman of God, I strive to be the best I can be. This passage helps me remember what I should be for Christ. I would rather be a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria Secret model any day of the week.

Days Like These

Please look at the picture to your left. This is what inside my brain looks like today.

I am genuinely joyful.
I accept myself for who God made me.
I am aware that I am awkward and weird.
I am angry at how I look down on myself.
I am sad that sometimes I don't see myself how God sees me.
I hope to one day fully reject the devil's lies.
I am surprised at the new things thrown my way everyday.
I am fearful that I will be forever alone.
Now, I know these feeling contradict themselves but lets get real...what about my personality says they would all match up!? There is a constant battle within me between these thoughts, and many more. It is just one of those days that I reflect on these and my mind jumbles with insecurity and doubt even when I know that MY GOD has delivered me and has made me beautiful. The approval of God is the only one I need!

Ephesians 4:29
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

Bucket List

I have had this list written for a while, but now it's time to share it. I was inspired to write this bucket list because I saw how some people get into this rut and cannot seem to escape it. I want to live my life as if I could fail at nothing and if nothing could ever stop me. I might live long enough to do all of these things, I might die before I do any of them but I can say I tried, and that I lived my life to the best of my ability. Whether or not I complete my list, I want to be damn proud of the life I lived. Here it goes:

Be apart of a flash mob (done)
Ride a motorcycle faster than 100 MPH (done, thank you clint!)
Visit every continent
Snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef
Ride on an elephant (done)
Fall in love and get married/have kids
Eat shark meat in Australia
Visit Juliet's Wall in Verona
See a lantern festival
See NYC for New Years Eve
See a Cherry Blossom Festival
Go white water rafting
Learn sign language
Spend the night on a beach under the stars
Build a tree house
Watch a Liverpool game at Anfield
Skydive
Live in a different country
Para-glide
Gamble at a casino (done)
Adopt a child
Know the Bible really really well
Travel all over the world

Don't just waste the life God has given you, give Him all the glory but have a little fun while your at it!

Purpose

Put your hand over your heart. Do you feel that? It's called a heartbeat. If it's still beating, you still have purpose in your life. Just because you are feeling down, going through a rough time, or life just isn't going your way doesn't mean you do not have a purpose. God created each of us for a reason. He created us to give Him glory in everything we do. He created us so we could share the gospel to everyone we come in contact with. He created us to live life the best we can. Don't ever wake up thinking you don't have purpose. With every beat of your heart, be thankful you are alive and find the good in everything. No one lives in this life forever, enjoy it while your here.

Death to False Hope

Girls grow up dreaming about "Prince Charming", you know...the strong, handsome, and perfect man riding on a white horse coming to save you from every mean girl, every insecurity, and every little thing that makes us want to cry. Can I let you in on a little secret? THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PRINCE CHARMING. No man is perfect. No man can save you. There is only one man that can be all of this, and you know who it is. His name is Christ.

We grow up watching romantic comedies and fairy-tales thinking our lives will end up like that, hoping they will, when in reality we know deep down in our guts nothing happens like it does in the movies. My question is: why do we let ourselves get to this point? Why is it that we give ourselves false hope? It doesn't help us..and it sure doesn't help anyone around us. By keeping these thoughts in our heads ladies, we are setting our expectations to the point where they are impossible for any man to meet. Let me be clear: NO ONE IS PERFECT. By letting these lies sink in, we become more prone to believe them. This is not okay. Insecurity denies us women of the love Christ has for us. All he wants is to hold our hand and say "Look at this beautiful woman I created, SHE is MY daughter!" And until you know that, believe it, and start to live it you will never fully understand how beautiful you really are. It breaks my heart to think that there are women out there who do not see their beauty. It breaks my heart to see girls throw themselves at guys because they feel worthy if a guy gives them any attention. There is a big difference between affection and attention. The man you are supposed to marry will show up when God wants him to. Don't go looking for Mr. Right, cause you will end up with a bunch of no good men who do not deserve you. Place your heart in the hands of God and he will place it in the hands of a man who he believes deserves it.

I may sound like a broken record, but I know how insecurity can ruin someone and how hard it is to get over insecurity. Hello?! I'm write this because I have been there and I'm still there. It's a daily struggle but it's a daily blessing to know that my Savior created me in his image. Don't let those lies rob you of your joy.

Being Thankful

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

It's Thanksgiving. Wanna hear the cliche list of everything I'm thankful for? Yea, I wouldn't want to read it either. But I will write one thing I have learned this Thanksgiving:

I do not get to go home this Thanksgiving. I do not to get to spend it with my family. I have to work all of my precious break. But because of all these things, I have come to realize that I am a selfish brat. Seriously?! How selfish am I that I throw myself a pity party because I don't get everything I want. At least I have a family. At least I have a job. And at least I have a home I can go home to if I need too.

Honestly, I am thankful that God showed me how my attitude was effecting my joy. All these little things were robbing me of my joy. Just like it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" I should be thankful in every circumstance, and I am so thankful for a Savior who shows himself to me everyday. Yes I wish I could go home for the holiday, but I refuse to let not going rob me of my joy and I will not take for granted the things I do have.

Makes You Think

Speaks for itself doesn't it.

Simply Worship

Picture a crowd of college students, on a Friday night, all under one roof praising one God. For us here at Texas Tech University, it's called UNITE. Worship is the way you speak, act, and meditate. But in my opinion corporate worship is important. Being surround by people who are in love with the same God as you are is so encouraging. Being surrounded by your community and watching others pour out their love for Christ is amazing to watch. It brings me joy to know that although we may go to different ministries, hang out with different people, and live different lives there is always one place we can come and be refilled with His love and encouragement. In saying this, we should not limit God to the nights we worship together (Sunday, Thursday, Friday). Worship is a lifestyle. Worship is in the way we speak to those around us. Others will see God in our words. Worship is in the way we act. The saying goes 'actions speak louder than words' and for the most part that is true. Whether you like it or not, people are watching you. They are looking at the Christian T-shirts we wear, the Bibles we carry, and the attitudes we show. If we are portraying actions that are not reflecting Christ, we are not doing our job as a follower of Christ. Like I said, worship is a lifestyle not a weekly service.

Words are great and speaking what God has placed on your heart is important. But without action behind the words it is useless. Sharing how God has effected your life and what the gospel means to you is needed, but unless you change the way you live to reflect those words and testimonies, nothing will change. You have to change yourself first and others will follow the example you set.

DO NOT LET YOUR WORDS BE EMPTY.

I Will Wait

All you ladies out there wondering when it will be your turn with Mr. Right, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs

Don't let your obsession with finding Mr.Right turn into seeking attention from Mr.Right now. IT IS NOT WORTH IT! God has a man out there for you, a man who will love you and love the Lord more. Place your heart in the hands of God and he will place it in the hands of a man who he believes deserves it.

All you men out there trying to be the best you can be, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3WvWEZbtbo

Be gentlemen. Be the leader of the house, the man of God you are called to be. Respect women. You are made in the image of God.

And for all of you who are worried because you are single...don't. Being single doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are strong enough to wait for the best God has for you. God is writing my love story, let him write yours.

So Long, Insecurity

I have been reading So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. It is one big slap in the face. This book (and of course our Savior) is changing my outlook on life, and myself. If you are a woman, READ THIS BOOK! You could be the most confident woman in the world, but reading this will help you understand others, yourself, and the way God sees you.

I have struggled with insecurity my whole life. You might think, doesn't every girl say that? The answer to that is many have, yes, but each situation is different. It has taken me 19 years to fully understand and surrender the roots of my insecurity. God has taken it all and redeemed me. I won't go into details about my issues (if you are that interested...just ask me) but insecurity has taken so much opportunity, time, and worry out of my life. This sickness that takes over the human body is not the way God our loving father wants us to see ourselves. He created us beautiful, special, and in HIS image. Every time you insult yourself or someone else that is telling God he didn't do a good job. You are saying His work isn't good, flawed, or somehow disfigured. That is a lie from Satan himself. He puts those thoughts into our heads and hearts to get us away from Christ. THIS IS NOT OKAY. Don't let him get a hold on your mind. Don't let him plant that seed. We have the extreme blessing to be created in the image of Christ. Let your confidence come from your relationship with Christ, not what others say about you. In the end, God's opinion of us is all that matters in the end.

Where is the Love?

Gods definition of love:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Dictionary definition of love:

1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend

3.sexual passion or desire

Whos definition is more appealing, Gods or the worlds? The worlds definition is easy to follow, conditional, and skin deep. Gods definition is not as easily obtained. To love like Christ we have to actually think of others as higher than ourselves. We have to be in the world but not of it, and I think we have gotten away from this original principle of love. I look around and see needless flirting without pursuit, unnecessary negativity, and a huge lack of encouragement within the Christian community. We have been called to love everyone. This means:

• Family
• Friends
• Enemies
• Randos
• People you walk by
• People who like you
• People who don't like you
• People you haven't even met yet

God never said it would be easy, its not. Loving people is the hardest thing a human flesh can do. When we love, there are conditions and selfishness involved. With Christ, it is just the opposite. This is what we should strive for everyday. Love without conditions. Love without selfishness. Love without fake intentions. When we learn to do this, Christ's love will surround our every thought, moment, and action. Loving like Christ did will be hard. It won't be fun all the time. But that is the joy of Christ. He died out of love for us, and we should strive for the same. Love is the most important gift in this world. Use it wisely, don't say it unless you mean it, and don't throw it around like its not important. We need a lot more of this in our world, change won't start unless you start with yourself.